Learn how to let go of the past and how to be confident in yourself with my 4 top tips from my 12-week experience the Best-Kept-Secret.
I’m going to start with a story of what shaped me at the beginning of my journey.
When I started as an entrepreneur I had no clue what I was doing.
I moved 3,000 miles away from home and all that I knew was I wanted to start a business that empowered women. But, the truth was, I didn’t move for me or my business. I moved for a man.
Now don’t get this story twisted, he was and is a FANTASTIC human being. But him being an amazing human didn’t change the fact that I was sacrificing everything I desired for my life.
Day by day I was losing myself. I didn’t realize it at the time but in hindsight, I can see it so clearly.
I can see through the breakdowns, the anger of him being gone, and the resentment that started to build within my body.
Even though I was losing who I was, my mission to empower every single woman I came into contact with didn’t change.
I saw these parallels with a lot of the women I worked with. Leading their families and sacrificing what made them such beautiful women.
I spent endless nights crying in my self-made garage gym wondering what it was all for? Why was I putting myself through so much pain, what was the purpose?
My negative self-talk got louder as I lost my self-trust.
Setting boundaries wasn’t even in the cards for me back then. I had no self-trust. I literally would bend over backward for just about anyone to make sure they still liked me.
I was more concerned about everyone else’s mental and emotional health. And me? Well, I was just an afterthought, the last thing on my to-do list.
A lot of us lack self-trust and are consumed with negative self-talk simply because we were never taught otherwise.
If you’re anything like I was years back you may be wondering why you’re attracting the wrong clients, why people don’t respect you or love you exactly as you are.
One of my many Best Kept Secrets was when I started setting boundaries in my life.
I see so many women missing this.
Setting boundaries in your business and life will build better quality relationships in all parts of your life.
Let’s start with this, I’m just going to come out and say this because I hear this too often.
Setting boundaries does not make you a B****.
Okay? Did you get that?
It makes you a bad-ass boss (this is where I’m clapping), there’s a difference.
Do you think Beyonce has boundaries?
That’s what I thought……..
If you desire to be confident with yourself you have to have the self-trust to establish bold boundaries.
Now let’s get to the good stuff.
Four of the top tips straight from my Best-Kept-Secret experience.
1. Setting boundaries is the foundation for self-trust.
You have to learn your non-negotiables and implement them. Everyone’s non-negotiables are different and that’s the best part! One of the reasons that you have negative self-talk is because you set a boundary and then you break it. Over and over again. Example. My boundary with my business is that my clients keep their appointment times weekly. If they cannot make their appointment they know they need to re-schedule at least 24 hours in advance.
So what happens if a client cancels their appointment 20 minutes before? They lose their session. This does not make me a B**** this makes me a boss.
I get it. it’s hard because as women we care SO MUCH! The thing is when you bend these rules people will start to take advantage of them and you will start resenting the other people. This is the same in romantic relationships. You set the standard for the way you want things to operate.
You see, If I bend, I know that I will feel resentful towards my clients for “wasting” my time. I will feel taken advantage of for always bending the rules. My clients will also learn that they can do whatever they want when they want, which in turn, they will lose respect for me.
The beautiful part about this is you get to set what your life rules are! There are no right or wrong answers. You get to choose your foundational boundaries.
2. Learning how to let go will free you in more ways than you can imagine.
It’s not fun or easy but letting go of the flakey friend who never calls you back frees up a lot of mental and emotional energy.
The same thing goes for the guy that left you on read. Or the client that said they would sign up or book but never did. It’s no fun but it’s so necessary.
Learning how to let go is claiming a new standard for your life. Learning to be okay with what stays and what goes is a practice.
You can practice this by stating your needs or boundaries and playing out the potential outcomes ahead of time. Have a consultation with a client? Start to find peace with the fact they may or may not book. Tell your friend your boundary and they don’t show up the way you want? Coolio! That’s okay because now you know!
Practicing the outcome ahead of time is a beautiful practice so you are not shocked at the response when it happens in real-time!
3. Navigating negative self-talk comes with kindness.
In my coaching practice, I call the negative mind that comes up the she-hulk. When she comes in claiming that you’re not good enough, smart enough, or worthy enough you kindly comfort her. Many people try and fight the negative self-talk but it never works. If you think of comforting your she hulk with kindness and compassion things will start to shift. Hold her, speak to her gently and her temper tantrums will subside. Just like a small child, you wouldn’t say HEY! You're worthless. Right? Treat your inner she-hulk the same way.
Now we’re going to bring it all together…..
4. Establishing self-trust comes and bold boundaries comes from implementing all of the above 3 principles.
To learn how to be confident in yourself you must be able to reverse engineer what it means to establish self-trust.
When you start to implement these few principles alone you will start to find your life radically shifting.
I want you to know so deep in my heart that if you are looking to up-level or empower yourself in any of these areas, you are not alone. I’ve coached so many powerful business owners, entrepreneurs, and empowered women to know that these versions of us live within all of us.
If you desire to collapse time on your empowerment I would love for you to apply for my
Best-Kept-Secret. (linked below!)
This is about you becoming the strong, independent, self-loving confident woman you can be!
This one-one and group coaching experience have radically transformed my life in more ways than I can count. This is one of those programs that you will wish you would have taken sooner.
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With more love than you know what to do with,
Natalie Diane Kimball
My mission is to bring like minded women together who empower one another.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY BEST KEPT SECRET BELOW!!